Goalie parents and spouses… we’re a rare breed. Just like the resilient players we support, staying stoic and relaxed while waiting for the next play is imperative. Easy to say, right?

Well, if you were to track the heart rate for a goalie parent or spouse on a game day, it might look a little something like this…

In the pros, different situations can often make for increased tension, and that is where the support system steps in. It’s a big responsibility keeping home life lighthearted, sticking to a positive routine, and making sure game days are tee-d up. Similarities may also apply to the families of younger goalies; whether it’s a Mite just learning how to win and lose, a Pee Wee before a big tryout, or a High School senior prepping for the last state tournament.

But goalies are not weak minded individuals unable to accept change. There is certainly no room for that in the position. Most don’t need perfect lives and game days. Part of goaltending is the mental toughness to handle interruptions as outlined in Phil’s Game Day Prep post.

Maybe the routine isn’t only for the player…but for us as well. Perhaps it keeps us centered so we feel as if we have a little bit of control in a game that can throw you to the wolves so quickly. Sending Phil to the rink knowing that he had a positive game day with no distractions is soothing for me. Knowing I’ve done my job to best help him do his eases some of the game day anxiety (although PKs still feel like an eternity when you’re not exhaling).

Playoffs means trying to hide my nervous tremors by pretending to bounce Leah…

But not all goalie parents and spouses are bundles of nerves. Some have such relaxing presences and grace that I wish I still possessed. Ten years ago, it wasn’t uncommon for me to not even know the score of the games. We went to Game 7 of the ECHL finals in 2009, and I embarrassingly admit that I had zero idea what was happening. Back then, it was fun and not yet a livelihood. Over the years, things got more serious. We tied the knot, had kids, and now his job that used to be lighthearted by nature takes effort and some serious “ohmmm” to stay that way.

I can only imagine how a parent feels. It’s your flesh and blood out there in that crease. You’ve got a direct line going from your heart to theirs and feel the exact same nerves and pressure. When negative comments are heard from fellow parents or fans, it can feel so personal. Often, people don’t notice what happens before a goal against. Some critics lazily hurl blame in the direction of the goalie. They don’t understand why he/she left the net to play the puck or didn’t make a save on a bouncing shot from the red line. But…that aggressive play is often what the system demands, and bobbling pucks aren’t easy to track. Things happen, and part of the goalie’s job is to be the scapegoat and the last line of defense for your team both on and off the ice. Our job is to be the unwavering supportive voice both inside the goalie’s head and at home after the game.

Just as you’d offer words of encouragement to a goalie after a loss, it can be so reassuring to hear that as a parent or spouse. For me, it takes the edge off after a loss hearing positivity from our team wives, family, and friends. Having fellow goalie wives and moms that I can chat with about anything and everything makes things a lot easier and, in return, makes things way less tense at home. We just get each other! I’ve realized that in order for a support system to run like a well oiled machine, we must be supported ourselves. This rings true for everything in life!

So, a big thank you to my goalie allies for letting me vent frustrations, celebrate big and small victories, and always helping me stay centered between the posts.

Kellie Lamoureux

Support System: By Kellie