Cultivating Success: A Post for Parents
About three years ago, I was approached by a youth coach in Grand Forks. He said they were having problems getting kids to be goaltenders for two reasons: 1.) most parents don’t want their kids playing the position and 2.) At the youth level, there is virtually no one to coach them.
Having a young person trying to learn a new skill with no starting point or direction, it is no wonder why they get frustrated. I’ve seen kids quit the position or hockey all together as a result of this.
No Encouragement,
No Mentorship,
No Success
I am now a father of two and have started to think about when they will begin playing sports.
What kind of mental scaffolding can I give to them to best help them work at a skill and find enjoyment in that pursuit?
This generation of young athletes (to no fault of its own) suffers from a short attention span, wants instant gratification, and is shielded from failure. I think it’s more important than ever for parents to push their kids. Not by focusing on accolades or the pursuit of a scholarship but on work ethic, preparation, and mental toughness.
To me, these qualities are lifelong habits that lead to a happy and balanced life.
I can’t help but be grateful for my upbringing. I have two parents who let me play any sport I wanted…but they had two rules:
No quitting once you start the season.
Do your best.
There were definitely moments where I didn’t live up to my end and they let me know. I learned that this isn't being a mean parent or pressuring kids…but teaching them accountability. My parents paid for participation and equipment and my job was to show up and do my best.
One example of this: I was on the swim team for a few years and hated it. It was a struggle to go to practices and meets, but they always made me go. Once I got in the pool, I have to admit that I got competitive. I wanted to be the fastest one in the water. I found enjoyment in an activity I thought I didn’t like right away just based on my affinity for competition. I tried my absolute best and eventually had success as a state champion. Once I hung up the speedo for good, I knew that I gained confidence and it could translate into other sports. I knew I could concentrate and focus even when I didn’t feel like it.
Translating into Goaltending: 4 Values to Instill in your Goalie
1. Do your physical best. It’s ok to demand that kids give their maximum effort. Every practice/game, never quit on any puck. This doesn’t mean they will be the best right away but this skill alone is the foundation for any individual improvement. I’ve learned that work ethic is an acquired skill. Like my last post describes, to be good at anything is to be an “every dayer”.
2. Show up with a practice plan. I refer parents to my YouTube page for specific drill ideas. A good starting point for young goalies to focus on: basic skating, butterfly execution and recovery, and hand eye coordination. Typically, there is down time during practice that goalies can work on these skills. It should be their responsibility to use that time to do goalie-specific work. If a coach can assist in these drills, it will make an even bigger difference.
3. Let kids feel failure. They need to learn how to navigate negative thoughts and personal let downs. Getting lit up in a game is the perfect opportunity to practice mental toughness, team first mentality, and a chance to find confidence again. I have many personal rules that I abide my when I play, but the most important one to me is:
Never complain about your team’s play and accept responsibility for all goals against.
A goalie has the ability to impact the outcome of a game more than any other player. Stressing about things out of one's control wastes energy and focus in areas that will not contribute to stopping the puck.
4. Hold them accountable. Young athletes need to be challenged, and from my experience, this is something they are starving for.
Overall, parents want their kids to have fun but learning to find happiness in athletic pursuits is a practiced habit. Striving to instill the above values will set the stage for happiness in sport and life.
Where there is a challenge,
there is purpose and meaning.
Where there is purpose and meaning,
there is enjoyment.
Resources:
JPL Goaltending on Youtube
Handbooks and Drillbooks: I have collected information and put together materials for Youth and Elite Goalies which are complimentary to those who attend my camps but will also be available for purchase this summer.
Email Me: I am always open to giving advice and mentoring athletes and parents that need advice, encouragement, or direction.